broken

" i earnestly long for more of you in my life. Im getting to a place to be broken before you, honestly i dont think im quite there yet- but its where im headed and i think it is where you want me to be. you need to break me more. That is how i would like my entire life to be- broken- uncapable of doing it on my own, but trusting entirely in you for everythig. Im pretty aware this may be painful and tough at times, but the joy and peace you will provide will be more glorious, and the intimacy it produces with you would be greater than any hardship i could endure. Break me of myself. i want to be an unardorned clay vessel filled with the light that shines through."

thats something i wrote in my journal this past wednesday, and you know what the crazy thing is? He continues to break me. He began to break me that day, and it has truely blown my mind that He listened that quickly. i know when i wrote that i believed He would, but at the same time it always catches me by surprise.
its so funny because different things have happened and i get so uncomfortable, frustrated, or upset and then i just keep flipping back to that page and its as if He is saying, "see! its right here boo! im just doing what you asked, dont you get upset with me." and i just break down and am so overwhelmed with his love. He has truely been breaking me of comforts that i did not want to have to deal with. But while at the same time its weird or uncomfortable, i feel His intimate peace overwhelm me and I am beginning to see Him in a different way.

He is just amazing. im loving it.